Monday, April 5, 2021

First and Last: Easter Grief and Looking for Love Liberated

He wasn’t as fast as the other disciple 
whose feet left clouds of dust behind 
both robes hiked up
breaking convention 
as they hurried to the place
Mary said was empty
The first disciple was driven
the beloved one
determined to see for himself 
before all others 
the weight of despair
could hold him back no longer 
or was it rage 
hell bent to find out who -
who would dare
to thief the tomb 
where their murdered Teacher
rest after the suffering 
this disciple arrived first
and it was as she said
yet a new layer of grief,
or was it an inkling of hope
that just maybe death was not the end,
as the first became last
now froze in time
unable or unwilling
to enter death’s door
and confront the unknown
But the other disciple followed 
not far behind 
catching his breath
perplexed as to why the other
stood still 
outside the question 
as this one refused to quit the quest
and dared go in 
to find the wrappings of death
Then they remembered 
the first joined the last
not alone this time
which may have been the hesitation all along 
not wanting to be first
which is not the goal
but entrance into life
found only in togetherness
that enables us 
to finally see
and return home 
But Mary stood outside weeping 
have we forgotten her
who was first
and also last 
at the tomb empty 
whose Easter grief is our own
struggling to be in solidarity with joy resurrected
wanting to believe 
to finally see
something better than 
the emptiness of the now
as we wait for our name 
to be spoken 
and our eyes opened 
to what we longed to be true
our humanity vindicated 
Love liberated
calling us up and out
among the first and last

(based on John 20:1-18)