He wasn’t as fast as the other disciple
whose feet left clouds of dust behind
both robes hiked up
breaking convention
as they hurried to the place
Mary said was empty
The first disciple was driven
the beloved one
determined to see for himself
before all others
the weight of despair
could hold him back no longer
or was it rage
hell bent to find out who -
who would dare
to thief the tomb
where their murdered Teacher
rest after the suffering
this disciple arrived first
and it was as she said
empty
yet a new layer of grief,
or was it an inkling of hope
that just maybe death was not the end,
as the first became last
now froze in time
unable or unwilling
to enter death’s door
and confront the unknown
But the other disciple followed
not far behind
catching his breath
perplexed as to why the other
stood still
outside the question
as this one refused to quit the quest
and dared go in
to find the wrappings of death
unraveled
Then they remembered
the first joined the last
inside
not alone this time
which may have been the hesitation all along
not wanting to be first
which is not the goal
but entrance into life
found only in togetherness
that enables us
to finally see
and return home
But Mary stood outside weeping
have we forgotten her
who was first
and also last
at the tomb empty
whose Easter grief is our own
struggling to be in solidarity with joy resurrected
wanting to believe
to finally see
something better than
the emptiness of the now
as we wait for our name
to be spoken
and our eyes opened
to what we longed to be true
our humanity vindicated
Love liberated
calling us up and out
among the first and last
(based on John 20:1-18)